Ella
by Ruthie
Summary: Sam is given something she thought she could never have.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Ella  
  
Author: Ruthie  
  
Author Feedback: jm-webmistress@fsmail.net  
  
Category: Angst, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Singularity  
  
Summary: Sam is given something she thought she could never have.  
  
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.  
  
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
~Ella~  
  
Copyright © 2004, Ruth  
  
**********  
  
When it finally dawned on me, the realisation that I might never be able to have a normal child, it felt as if someone had shot me square in the chest. Every day, I had to look at happy couples wandering around with their children in their arms, holding onto their hands, I knew that this would never be a reality for me. The naquadah in my blood has already meant that I can't see a doctor outside of Cheyenne mountain, and if I was to conceive a child, the chances are that the same would go for them. I don't think I could put a child through that. My child.  
  
When I sit in my lab late into the night, I try to think about other things. My work - how my life would be different if I didn't work at Stargate command. I try to tell myself that my job is my life, that without this work I would be nothing - but a little voice at the back of my head is just whispering, what if?  
  
It's most painful when I see Janet with Cassie. Don't get me wrong, Janet is a great mother and the two of them have developed a very close bond, but I was the one that went into that bunker with her! I was the one who sat in that room with her for hours on end when she didn't want to be alone. Why did I decide not to take her?  
  
Now it's me who's ended up alone.  
  
**********  
  
The planet that we'd been sent to was much like the others. It appeared to be uninhabited, there were plenty of trees (for Colonel O'Neill's benefit) and Daniel even found some ancient artefacts. The strangest thing was the pair of suns - two, when we were only used to one. Teal'c didn't seem to be phased, but Daniel was fascinated. Like a child in a toy shop, he would look up from his artefacts and a huge grin spread over his face. He made me smile.   
  
I, however, had nothing to do. I'd taken all of my mineral samples, and was playing absently with the computer when I heard footsteps behind me. I had come to recognise them as Colonel O'Neill's. The heavy tread, accompanied by the occasional scuff, told me that it was him standing there. I turned around to face him.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"Bored, Carter?" He asked, a grin appearing on his face.  
  
"Possibly, sir," I answered, smiling back, "Enough trees for your liking, sir?"  
  
"Come here," Jack said, "Teal'c! We're going for a little recon! Keep an eye on Indiana Jackson, would ya?"  
  
"Indeed, O'Neill," Teal'c replied, and went to stand behind Daniel, who was still absorbed in his artefacts.  
  
"Where are we going?" I asked, falling into step beside Jack.   
  
"Recon," he replied. "There must be something to do on this planet, and we usually come across some people."  
  
"This planet is uninhabited," I reminded him.   
  
"How many times have we thought that, and then been ambushed by a group of people?" Jack asked. "Just to be sure, Major."  
  
**********  
  
She moved through the trees, watching the pair of them walk together. Pulling aside a branch, she looked carefully at the woman. Her hair was the same colour, and her eyes were a beautiful blue. The man was taller, and he was holding a large, black thing. What was it? She'd never seen one before. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she continued walking barefoot through the undergrowth, following their every move.  
  
**********  
  
"Sir?" I asked suddenly.  
  
"Yeah?" he replied, looking at me, shielding his eyes from the glare of the two suns.  
  
"Did you hear something?" I asked carefully, looking behind me. Nobody was there.  
  
"No." He replied, with a smirk, "If you're hearing things again, Carter…"  
  
"With respect, sir," I grinned, "Shut up."  
  
He was about to reply when I heard it again. A heavy footfall, not unlike that of a jaffa.  
  
"Okay…I heard it too that time," Jack admitted, one hand going to his P-90.   
  
I turned around again, in a circle, but there was nothing to be seen. I could practically feel the tenseness of my CO beside me, and all of my senses were on high alert.   
  
**********  
  
She watched them intently. Why had they stopped? She took a step forwards, then another, and another. Still watching the man and woman, she took another step and her bare foot encountered something cold and metallic. She looked upwards into the face of a jaffa, and screamed.  
  
**********  
  
Jack spun around, heading towards the source of the scream.   
  
  
  
"Hello?" he asked.   
  
We began to run.   
  
**********  
  
The jaffa looked down at her with a cruel smile, and thrust his staff weapon into her chest. She fell to the floor, dropping her precious parcel that she held within her arms. The jaffa bent down to pick it up, but she lunged at him. Quickly, he turned his weapon on her and fired, enjoying the sound of her scream. He turned back to the parcel, and bent to pick it up.  
  
That was when the bullet slammed into his back, and he fell to the ground beside his victim.  
  
**********  
  
"Over here!" Jack shouted, dropping beside the jaffa.   
  
"He's definitely dead," Jack replied, watching the glow in his eyes go out.   
  
"What about her?" I asked, dropping beside the woman. I put my fingers to her neck and felt a very weak, fluttering pulse.   
  
"Hello?" Jack asked, falling to my side.  
  
"Please…" she said softly, pushing the parcel towards me.   
  
Tentatively, I took it from her, but didn't look inside.   
  
"We're gonna get you out of here," I tried to reassure her, "You'll be fine."  
  
She shook her head and smiled at me sadly.   
  
"Take…care…" she said, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. "Please."  
  
"I…okay," I said, looking at Jack in confusion.   
  
Then, I felt her grip loosen on my hand. She had died.   
  
Jack walked away to radio Daniel and Teal'c, whilst I decided to examine what was in the parcel. I picked it up and unwrapped it, and when it moved I almost dropped it in shock.   
  
Carefully, I pulled back the blanket and saw a tiny baby looking back at me. The baby made no sound, but its eyes fixed on mine and didn't move for what seemed like an eternity. I just kept looking at it, in a trance. In fact, I only looked away when Colonel O'Neill kept tapping me on the shoulder.   
  
"Carter," he said, "I'll take it."  
  
I looked down at the child nestled in my arms, and back up at him.  
  
"No. It's okay, I'm fine," I said, standing up carefully and turning away.   
  
**********  
  
The strangest feeling had arisen inside of me. I felt a need to protect this baby. It wasn't something I had ever felt before - and I wasn't sure whether I liked it or not.   
  
When we got back to Danny and Teal'c, Jack offered to take the kid off of me again. Again, I refused. I heard the three of them talking as I walked ahead of them. I suppose they have a right to - I've never been like this around babies before. Usually I try to remain detached from them, but this time was different.   
  
It was the kid's dying mother's wish that I should look after it. How could I let her down?  
  
The thought suddenly came to me that I didn't know whether the baby was a boy or a girl. Stealing a look behind me, I checked that the guys weren't examining me too closely. Lifting up the rag a little, I had my answer. She was a girl.   
  
**********  
  
When we got back to the SGC, I went immediately to the infirmary to get her checked out by Janet.  
  
**********  
  
"Well, hi there," Janet smiled, taking her from my arms, "Let's have a look at you."  
  
The child began to cry as Janet examined her, and didn't seem like she would stop. Even when Janet found her a dummy, she just spat it out and continued crying.   
  
I could see one of the nurses getting agitated in the corner of the room, as well as an airman who was sitting up in bed, with bandages around his head. I got up from where Janet was talking to me and went over to the cot.   
  
"Hey there," I said softly, "Ssh."  
  
Her crying slowed to a quiet gurgle, and she held out her little arms to me. I smiled back at her, and pulled her into my arms. She was warm, and it was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt to have her next to me.   
  
**********  
  
Janet studied Sam closely from the other side of the room. It was true, she had never seen Sam act like this around a child before. Something about the peaceful scene before her made her smile, and she quietly left the room to find General Hammond.   
  
**********  
  
To Be Continued  
  
**********  
  
Author's Note: What did you think? Please send feedback to jm-webmistress@fsmail.net  
  
More to come soon!! 


	2. Ella: Part 2

Title: Ella - part 2  
  
Author: Ruthie  
  
Author Feedback: jm-webmistress@fsmail.net  
  
Category: Angst, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Singularity  
  
Summary: Sam continues to bond with Ella, even though she is warned not to do it.   
  
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.  
  
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
~Ella - part 2~  
  
Copyright © 2004, Ruth  
  
**********  
  
"Major Carter seems to have warmed to her," Janet continued, "She's very healthy, no deformities - it's just so sad that her mother was killed."  
  
General Hammond nodded.   
  
"I have spoken to Colonel O'Neill, and he confirms that there were no signs of human life on the planet apart from the mother and her child. It looks like she'll be staying with us for a while."  
  
"Thank you, sir," Janet smiled, and left the room. On her way back to the infirmary, she met Daniel, who was stuffing the remains of a Mars bar into his mouth.   
  
"Hi Daniel!"  
  
"Oh…hi, Janet!" he said, swallowing the rest of the chocolate, "How's the baby?"  
  
"She's absolutely fine," Janet beamed, biting back a smirk as she noticed that Daniel had managed to get chocolate on his left ear.   
  
"How's Sam?" he continued.   
  
"Fine - better than fine, actually. She's really warmed to the baby. I'm just on my way back to see them now - you coming?"  
  
"Sure!" Daniel replied, and followed Janet back to the infirmary. She decided not to mention the Mars bar.   
  
**********  
  
Sam sat on the bed, holding the baby in her arms. She was finally asleep, after keeping the occupants of the SGC infirmary awake for several hours. She looked up to see Janet and Daniel coming over to her, and smiled.  
  
"Hey," Janet said softly, "Is she asleep?"  
  
Sam nodded, and gently handed her over to the doctor, who laid her back down in her cot. Whilst Janet was doing this, Sam noticed that Daniel had a bit of a Mars bar on his ear. She cast a look at Janet, who smirked. It took a lot of effort for Sam not to laugh.  
  
"How are you?" Daniel asked, concern filtering into his voice, "I haven't seen you since we came back."  
  
"I'm fine," she smiled, "It's just Lady Lungs over there - wouldn't go to sleep unless I was here."  
  
"You've bonded with her already?" Daniel asked, "Is that possible? I thought she'd still be missing her mom."  
  
"It certainly is strange," Janet said, trying to avert her gaze from the chocolate stuck on Daniel's ear before she giggled.  
  
"Bit of a sticky situation," Sam agreed, and bit her lip as Janet turned around, trying to stifle her giggles with a sneeze and a cough.  
  
Daniel frowned, missing the joke.   
  
"What?" he asked.   
  
"Nothing," Sam said, "Janet's just had a little too much coffee this morning."  
  
Unfortunately, the giggling woke the baby, who immediately started crying again.  
  
"Would somebody shut that thing up?" Yelled an annoyed airman from the bed opposite.  
  
"Sorry," Sam said, bending down to pick her up again.   
  
"She needs a name," Janet said, recovering from her laughter, "I was thinking maybe…"  
  
"Ella," Sam finished, "I like Ella."  
  
Daniel nodded.   
  
"That's a great name. Hello, Ella!"  
  
Ella looked up at him and giggled. She reached out her hand and touched his ear, and Daniel watched with embarrassment as it came away covered in caramel. Sam smirked, and Janet looked at Daniel apologetically.  
  
"We were going to tell you…"  
  
**********  
  
"How's the baby?" Jack asked Janet as she walked into the control room.  
  
"She's doing fine, and her name is Ella." Janet smiled, handing Daniel a tissue as he walked in. Teal'c frowned, and wondered why he was receiving this gift. He made a mental note to ask Doctor Jackson later.   
  
"What is going to happen to her?" Jack asked thoughtfully, "Unless you're planning on taking in another one," he added, looking at Janet.  
  
Janet shook her head sadly.  
  
"As much as I would love to, one is enough. I'm not sure. She'll have to be quarantined here for a couple of months, but then she'll probably go up for adoption. I'll have to ring around to find out."  
  
"Does Sam know yet?" Daniel asked quietly, "She's developed quite an attachment to her."  
  
"No," Janet admitted, "But you leave that to me, all of you. I mean it, or it'll be blunt needles all round!"  
  
"Yes, ma'am," Jack said, giving her a mock salute.   
  
**********  
  
Later, Jack was walking back to his office when he stopped outside of Sam's lab. He paused, and listened intently at the door.   
  
"And this is my computer. It's where I do all of the work that makes Colonel O'Neill's brain hurt."  
  
He smiled, and gently pushed open the door. Sam was standing there, the baby in her arms.  
  
"Hey," he said, closing the door behind him, "How's the little one?"  
  
"She's well," Sam said, feeling a blush rise in her cheeks.  
  
"Giving her the tour?" Jack asked, trying not to smirk.  
  
"Something like that," Sam agreed, shifting Ella's position in her arms.  
  
"Can I?" Jack asked, holding out his arms.  
  
"Sure," Sam said, going over to him and placing Ella in his arms. She felt a strange sense of detachment as she felt her warmth leave her arms, but hurriedly forgot it. It would do her no good getting so attached - she knew that she would have to be given up for adoption sometime.   
  
"She's beautiful," Jack smiled, taking the little hand in his, "And she looks just like you."  
  
Sam smiled sadly.   
  
"Yeah."  
  
Jack, realising too late that he'd said the wrong thing, tried to backtrack.   
  
"Never mind, eh, Carter? A young, attractive woman like yourself - you've got plenty of time for babies."  
  
The minute it was out of his mouth, he knew he'd said the wrong thing again. Mentally slapping himself as he saw the look on her face, he handed the baby back.  
  
"Sorry," he mumbled, "I have a habit of screwing up a bad situation."  
  
"If anyone's to blame, it's me," Sam said, "I shouldn't have gotten so attached in the first place."  
  
"How could you not?" Jack asked, grinning down at Ella, "She's the cutest t…"  
  
He stopped himself from making the third catastrophic mistake of the day, and mentally zipped up his mouth.   
  
"I'm gonna go, before I say something stupid again," Jack said, retreating out of her lab and shutting the door quietly behind him.   
  
Sam sighed, and took a seat in front of her computer.   
  
"What am I going to do with me?" she asked. Ella offered no reply, she just sat there and gazed up at her, blue eyes wide in wonder. "I don't know, one minute I'm mortally wounding all the men I fall in love with, now I'm adoring a baby I can't keep. You're lucky, it's so simple for you."  
  
Again, Ella said nothing. Sam tenderly stroked her cheek and closed her eyes tight shut, to stop her tears from falling. There was another knock at her lab door, and this time it was Janet who entered.   
  
"I already know what you're gonna say," Sam said softly.   
  
"Sam, honey," Janet said, sitting down opposite her friend, "I know how hard this is for you."  
  
"No," Sam said, choking back tears, "You don't. You have Cassie, you can still have kids of your own. Any that I try to have will be imprinted with Jolinar - and I don't think I can put them through that."  
  
"Even so, you're only going to hurt yourself," Janet said, reaching out and touching her friend's arm. "You need to let her go."  
  
"I can't," Sam admitted, "She's everything I've ever wanted."  
  
Janet looked shocked.  
  
"I thought you said that you weren't interested in babies," she said.  
  
"It's sad," Sam continued, "I never realised how much I did, until I couldn't have one any more. And anyway, baby talk doesn't go down well with the guys. It's easier to pretend that you're not interested."  
  
"You have about two months," Janet said sadly, "Maximum. Please, think about what I told you."  
  
**********  
  
To Be Continued…  
  
**********  
  
Author Notes: What did you think? Please send feedback to jm-webmistress@fsmail.net 


	3. Ella: Part 3

Title: Ella - part 3  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Author: Ruthie  
  
Author Feedback: jm-webmistress@fsmail.net  
  
Category: Angst, Drama  
  
Spoilers: Singularity  
  
Summary: Sam's two months are running out, and Jack gives her some advice from the heart.   
  
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.  
  
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
~Ella - part 3~  
  
Copyright © 2004, Ruth  
  
**********  
  
Sam sat alone in her lab, thinking. It was well past midnight, and Janet would almost certainly be on the prowl. She absently stirred her coffee, watching the liquid swirl around in the cup.   
  
It was how she felt inside. Confused, twisting and turning but always ending up in the same situation. She couldn't keep Ella - she would never make a good mother, anyway. All of her time was devoted to her work. No time for a baby.  
  
No time.   
  
She sighed. No, there never was time for anything, was there? No time for a social life, no time for dating…no time for a baby. She slammed her fist angrily against her desk, wincing as a jolt of pain shot up her arm.   
  
Why did she never have the time for anything? Why did she always find herself sitting in this lab, working. This was the way she was destined to be - alone, with her work.   
  
Maybe it was time to start making time for herself.   
  
**********  
  
As she had predicted, Sam was still sitting in her lab. Janet leant against the doorframe and looked at the ceiling. She couldn't truly understand what her friend was going through. Sam had been right - Janet could always wait - she had time to have children later. But Sam, she was always running a risk. Ella really was her last chance.   
  
She knocked softly on the door and went in, smiling at Sam's very sheepish look when she knew that she had been caught.   
  
"I got ya!" Janet said, smiling, "As if I was expecting anything else."  
  
"Guilty as charged. I'll be off soon, Jan."  
  
"No, you'll be off now. Come on," Janet said, standing up and leaving the room.   
  
Sam reluctantly followed her, safe in the knowledge that Ella was being looked after in the infirmary.   
  
**********  
  
Sam was woken up by the telephone. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock across from her. It read 0200 hours. She groaned, and lifted the receiver.   
  
"Sam."  
  
"Sam? I'm sorry, honey, but we have a bit of a problem here." Janet said, her voice strained.   
  
"What is it?" Sam asked, "Is it about Ella?"  
  
"She won't stop crying," Janet said, even now trying to shut out the high-pitched wail that had been disturbing everyone for the past few minutes. "I think she wants you here."  
  
"I'll be right over," Sam said, jumping out of bed and pulling on her clothes.   
  
Janet replaced the receiver and put her head in her hands. Her plan to try and stop the two of them from bonding had failed miserably. The last thing she wanted to do was see either of them hurt, but it looked as if this story was only going to end badly.   
  
**********  
  
When Sam arrived at the SGC, she was met by a very tired and pissed-off airman who led her down to the infirmary. She could hear Ella herself within a few hundred metres, and wondered how on earth such a loud noise could come from such a small child.   
  
"Thank God you're here," Dr McKenzie snapped, "I was about to go and lock her in a bunker!"  
  
Sam ignored him, and took Ella from Janet's arms.   
  
"Ssh!" she said, "Stop that. You don't want to see Dr McKenzie again, do you? No, I didn't think so."  
  
Slowly, very slowly, Ella began to quieten.   
  
"I bet your throat's sore now, isn't it?" She asked, "Janet - do we have any milk for her?"  
  
"Sure, I'll go and get some," Janet said, smiling as the ringing in her ears reduced.   
  
"Nice to see somebody managed to shut it up," McKenzie sneered, "Still, the bunker isn't going anywhere."  
  
"Go jump off a cliff, doctor," Sam snapped, "I know it seems hard to believe, but you were like her once."  
  
McKenzie muttered something under his breath and swept out of the infirmary.   
  
**********  
  
The next morning, Jack strolled into the infirmary to find his 2IC asleep by Ella's cot. For a moment he just stood there, taking in the view. They looked so beautiful there, peaceful and quiet. Nothing like the screaming he had heard the previous night. He went over to Carter and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently.  
  
"Carter?"  
  
"Colonel," she said, sitting up and looking down at Ella, who was still asleep.  
  
"Bad night?" He asked, looking at the rings under her eyes.   
  
"You could say that, sir, yes," she replied, jumping down off of the bed and standing beside him, folding her arms.   
  
"I could never get bored of watching them sleep," Jack said softly, "I used to watch Charlie all the time. It used to freak Sara out sometimes. I just couldn't believe that he was mine. And before I knew what was happening - he wasn't sleeping in that little cot any more."  
  
Sam gently placed her hand on her CO's shoulder. She knew that his memories of Charlie were still painful, even today. She was also surprised to hear him open up to her, as this wasn't very common at all.   
  
"That's sweet," she said quietly.   
  
"Do we know who's getting her yet?" Jack asked.   
  
Sam closed her eyes, her dream shattered. Of course there was no way that she could have her. She needed to stop thinking like this.   
  
"Uh…no," she said, "I think General Hammond's organising something…uh…would you excuse me for a minute?"  
  
Sam rushed out of the infirmary to her quarters, leaving Jack to keep his silent vigil by Ella's bedside.  
  
**********  
  
Sam looked at her reflection in the mirror as she splashed water on her face. She was exhausted, her head hurt, her back ached - but she felt more alive than ever before. Ella was like a drug for her - the more she had, the harder it was to give her up.   
  
But give her up she would have to. The truth hurt, and it cut deep. She remembered the way that Jack had talked about Charlie. There was so much love in that man that was hardly ever seen, all because he had lost something that he cared about.   
  
She wondered what it would be like when Ella was gone. Splashing herself with more cold water, she shook herself out of the dream and looked in the mirror again. Like her cup of coffee, she was going around in circles, but always ended up in the same place.  
  
Ella would be gone from her life in two months.  
  
**********  
  
As she went back to the infirmary, she saw that Colonel O'Neill was still standing there, watching Ella. She sidled up behind him, and looked down at the baby herself. She was the image of peace, quite the opposite of how she had been in the small hours of the morning.   
  
"Carter," Jack said suddenly, "I'm going to give you some advice."  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"When you have something you love, it means everything. It's all that you can think about, day and night. It's always on your mind. Then, when you lose it, it leaves a hole too big to repair. When you can't have it, you'll drive yourself crazy wanting it. Listen to me. You might not think so, but you have a chance here. Something you've always wanted. I know she seems far away now, but she isn't. Look - just reach out and touch her. Don't leave her behind. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."  
  
With that, he left.   
  
"Don't leave her behind," Sam murmured quietly, wiping a tear from her eye. She knelt down beside the sleeping child and stroked a finger across her cheek, "I won't leave you, honey."  
  
**********  
  
To Be Continued…  
  
**********  
  
Author Notes: Sorry about the delay for this one! Please send feedback to jm-webmistress@fsmail.net 


	4. Ella: Part 4

Title: Ella - part 4  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Author: Ruthie  
  
Author Feedback: jm-webmistressfsmail.net  
  
Category: Angst, Drama, Sam/Jack  
  
Spoilers: Singularity  
  
Summary: Sam has a difficult decision to make in order to follow Jack's advice, and he makes it somewhat more complicated.   
  
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.  
  
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
Ella - part 4  
  
Copyright © 2004, Ruth  
  
"Don't leave her behind. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."  
  
His words swam around in her mind as she lay in bed at home, unable to get any sleep. She hated leaving Ella at the SGC, knowing full well that by about half past two in the morning she would be called back there to calm her down.   
  
There was not a part of her that didn't miss Ella - and not a part of her that didn't ache when she thought of how she would have to give her up in a few weeks.   
  
She didn't want to leave her behind - but did she have a choice? She looked over at the clock, and saw that it was just past midnight. She had no chance of getting a good night's sleep, then. She turned over and sighed, throwing aside the covers and going into her lounge.   
  
She turned on the TV and watched it absently for a few minutes, before her eye fell on a photograph above it. She got up and picked up the picture, returning to the couch and curling up underneath her quilt. It had been taken by Jack, just after Cassie had arrived. It showed the two of them at the park, enjoying Cassie's first go on the swings.  
  
The pain of losing her came back to Sam instantly. Of course, she hadn't actually lost her, but she had been unable to look after her properly. As a mother. It was very similar to the one that she was feeling at the moment.   
  
She remembered Jack's words from the previous night. What had he meant, exactly? How was she supposed to look after Ella and carry on at the SGC at the same time?  
  
Then, the penny dropped.  
  
Jack whistled as he walked down the corridor, surprised to see Sam's lab lit up. It was only just 6am, and he knew that Ella usually slept right through until seven. He gently pushed open the door and smiled as he saw Sam sitting at her computer. Just like old times.  
  
"Hey," he said, crossing the distance between them and standing opposite her, with his hands in his pockets, "Whatcha doing?"  
  
"Nothing," she said hurriedly, closing down a word document and turning around in her chair to look at him. "I just thought I'd get some stuff done before Ella wakes up…"  
  
Her voice trailed off as he looked straight past her, opening the document again. He read the first line, and his eyes met hers.  
  
"You're resigning?" He asked.  
  
"I...well…I have to, Colonel," she said, looking away from him.  
  
"But…permanently? Why don't you just stop active duty? I mean, you could…"  
  
"No," Sam interrupted, "I couldn't. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it properly."  
  
Jack sat down, and looked across at his 2IC.   
  
"This is going to sound selfish, but I don't want you to go," he told her.  
  
"But, it was you who gave me the idea!" Sam said, confused.  
  
"Of course I want you to be happy," Jack said, running a hand through his hair, "But I…but I don't want you to leave. I…I don't know if I can do this without you."  
  
The few seconds of silence between them before she replied felt like an eternity.   
  
"Me?" Sam asked softly. "Me? You'll have Daniel and Teal'c, you…"  
  
"I need you," Jack stated simply. "Always have done, always will. I know I haven't always been able to admit it, but as you so often tell me I am as stubborn as an ass."  
  
"Are you sure those were my exact words?" Sam quipped, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth.  
  
"Maybe you missed out the 'as an' part," Jack grinned.   
  
Sam looked down at the floor. Her mind was spinning - he wanted the best for her and Ella, but he didn't want her to leave…to leave him.  
  
"I don't know what to say," She said, twisting her hands uncomfortably.  
  
"You don't need to say anything," Jack murmured, "Just…"  
  
He closed the distance between them. Sam's heart began to beat faster, and she could feel his breath on her neck. They inched closer, she felt his hand on her waist, burning through the fabric of her BDU's…  
  
And there was a knock at the door.  
  
They leapt apart, just as the door was opened and Janet entered, holding Ella in her arms.   
  
"Sam, I - oh, sorry, I didn't realise I was interrupting anything," Janet began, looking between her friend and the Colonel.  
  
"You didn't," Jack smiled, "I'll catch ya later, Carter!"  
  
He smiled, tickled Ella under her chin and left. Sam sank back down in her chair and accepted the child from Janet's arms.  
  
"So…what was I interrupting?" Janet asked. "And don't even try to tell me it was nothing - you could cut the tension in here with a knife!"  
  
"This isn't easy for me to say, Jan, but…well, I'm resigning." Sam said, awkwardly.  
  
"Resigning?" Janet asked, shocked, "But…"  
  
Then her eyes fell on Ella.  
  
"I have to, Jan. She's my last chance to have a child of my own. I can't let her go away."  
  
"Oh, Sam," Janet said quietly, hugging her friend. "What am I going to do without you here?"  
  
"You'd save on all that heart damage," Sam joked, "All the coffee we drink can't be doing any good!"  
  
"I'm being serious," Janet said, "It'll be awful without you!"  
  
"I know," Sam agreed, "But it's not like I'm moving across the world - I'm only a half hour away. And I'm sure that Hammond will find plenty of jobs to keep me back and forth!"  
  
"Have you handed it in yet?" Janet asked. Sam shook her head.  
  
"No, I've only just finished writing it now."  
  
"Is there any point in me asking you to change your mind?" Janet asked.  
  
Sam shook her head sadly.   
  
"My mind is made up, Jan. I'm leaving the SGC."  
  
Jack kicked angrily at the wall in his office. Why had he gone and done that? As if Sam wasn't having a hard enough time at the moment, he'd gone and tried to kiss her! Now what was she supposed to think? He just looked like a randy old Colonel trying a last-ditch attempt to get her into his bed.  
  
Truthfully, he was just lonely. Seeing Sam with Ella had filled a part of him that Charlie used to occupy, but at the same time it was tearing him apart. He couldn't do this job without her there every day, her brilliant smile.   
  
She wasn't just the best 2IC he'd ever had - she was his best friend. Someone he could always rely on - even when he was being a complete idiot. He didn't deserve to have her, he knew that much. He also knew that he didn't deserve to lose her - but how the hell was he going to get her back now?   
  
Hammond nodded sadly, and looked up at the woman in front of him.  
  
"It'll be a great loss, Major, I can tell you." He said.   
  
"I know, sir, and I can only apologise, but this is something I need to do."  
  
"I take it we can rely on you in future emergencies?" He asked, a small smile on his lips.  
  
"Just as long as they're not too frequent," Sam nodded, "I expect so."  
  
"It's been an honour, Major."   
  
"Likewise, General."  
  
To Be Continued…  
  
Author Notes: Again, sorry about the time it's taking for me to write these things. The situation should improve again in about three weeks…if you can bear with me for that long, I'd be very grateful. Please send feedback to jm-webmistressfsmail.net 


	5. Ella : Part 5

Title: Ella - part 5  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Author: Ruthie  
  
Author Feedback: jm-webmistressfsmail.net  
  
Category: Angst, Drama, Sam/Jack  
  
Spoilers: Singularity  
  
Summary: Sam's happy with her decision, but Hammond isn't…   
  
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.  
  
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
  
Ella - part 5  
  
Copyright © 2004, Ruth  
  
Sam smiled as she looked over at the clock. It read 4:15am, but for once she wasn't worried. Sure, she'd been up half of the night with Ella, but she didn't have work to worry about. It was the most at peace she had been for as long as she could remember.   
  
She looked over at Ella, who was now sleeping peacefully in her cot. Sam smiled, and leant back in her bed to watch her for a few minutes. Before she knew what was happening, she had also fallen asleep, both mother and daughter soothed by the sound of the rain.  
  
Hammond was far from peaceful. He'd been woken at 4am by Siler, telling him that Carter's replacement had blown himself up in the lab. At first Hammond had thought that this was just a rather vindictive joke, but upon arriving at the scene he realised it was true.  
  
The man was injured, but otherwise okay. More embarrassed than anything. If Hammond had been in a better mood, he would have felt sorry for the guy - but being woken so early in the morning did not do his temper any good.   
  
Now, two hours on, his luck wasn't improving. The second replacement was late, and Jack was pacing the corridors, bored out of his skull and looking for someone to take it out on. By the sound of it, he had chosen the unfortunate Dr Jackson.   
  
"Jack, get the hell out of my lab!" He whined.   
  
"What's eatin' you?" Jack asked, disgruntled.  
  
"You, actually. Look, you know I'm not capable of speaking English before I've had my coffee, let alone the other 22 languages in my vocabulary."  
  
"Your English sounds ok to me," Jack quipped. Daniel glared at him.  
  
"Jack, please. I need some 'me' time in the morning."  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Carter, it's me. How are ya?"  
  
"Colonel – I don't work at the SGC any more. Whatever it is, I'm sure Siler can deal with it."  
  
"Aah! Well, if you don't work at the SGC any more, the regs don't apply…and you have to call me Jack!"  
  
"Jack. What can I do for you on this fine morning?"  
  
"Nothing. I…ah…well, I was just bored. Danny kicked me out of his lab, your replacement blew himself up this morning and Hammond's like a bear with a sore head…"  
  
"My replacement? That was quick! Hey, what do you mean he blew himself up? Is my lab ok?"  
  
"As you so pointedly reminded me, Sam, you don't work at the SGC any more, so technically it isn't your lab."  
  
"Damn."  
  
"How's Ella?"  
  
"Fine. Up half of the night screaming again, but she's fine now. I should probably get her up in a minute."  
  
"That's babies for you. They're programmed to turn on when you're trying to go to sleep, and turn off when you want to wake them up."  
  
"I wouldn't change her for the world, though." Sam smiled.  
  
Jack was silent on the other end of the line, and Sam kicked herself.  
  
"C- Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't think," she stammered, "I'll come by the SGC in a couple of hours, see what's going on."  
  
"Thanks, Sam. I'll see you later."  
  
"Damn!" Sam cursed as she replaced the receiver. As the phone slammed into its cradle, Ella stirred and began to whine.   
  
"Ssh!" Sam soothed, "Come on - we've got to go back to work!"  
  
The corridors of the SGC had a familiarity that relaxed Sam. Being at home on her own was a strange experience - even though she wasn't totally on her own - and it was nice to be surrounded by people again.   
  
"Sam!" Daniel cried delightedly, running over and embracing her in a hug, getting a muffled squeak from Ella.  
  
"Sorry!" Daniel smiled sheepishly, "What are you doing back, anyway? I thought General Hammond announced your leaving."  
  
"He did, and he doesn't know I'm here yet. I had a shifty phone call from the Colonel. He told me there wasn't anything wrong, but I didn't believe him."  
  
"Couldn't stay away, huh?" Daniel smiled.   
  
"Do you happen to know anything about this?" Sam asked suspiciously.  
  
Daniel held his hands up and shook his head.   
  
"Not guilty. I know nothing of their evil plan to get you re-instated…oops."  
  
"Thank you, Daniel," Sam said, with a wry smile. "Don't worry, it's just Jack's butt I'll be kicking."  
  
"Come in," Jack called, hurriedly hiding his game-boy beneath a pile of paperwork that he should have been doing.   
  
He smiled as Sam entered his office, Ella balanced on her hip. God, if she only knew how sexy she looked, Jack thought…then realised she was looking at him, and he'd been caught staring at her. Damn.   
  
"What's this I hear about your evil plan to get me re-instated?" She smirked.   
  
"Me?" Jack protested, his face the picture of innocence, "I was merely catching up on some paperwork…"  
  
His game-boy beeped beneath the papers, and Ella giggled. Sam couldn't help but smile.   
  
"That's some noisy paperwork you've got there, s - Jack."  
  
"Yeah, it's the…new kind. It beeps when you're not doing enough of it." Jack said awkwardly.   
  
Sam laughed, and set Ella down on the nearest chair. Then, she decided better and held her again.   
  
"My office isn't that bad, surely," Jack whinged.   
  
"I don't know," Sam murmured, raising her eyebrows, "I swear I saw some woodworm…"  
  
"Ah!" Jack said, poking her, "There is no woodworm in this office. Can I hold her?"  
  
"Sure," Sam said, handing him Ella, "Watch out, she's a bit wriggly."  
  
Jack beamed down at Ella, who was indeed very wriggly. He took her over to his desk and sat down, retrieving the game-boy from underneath his papers.   
  
"We'll get you one of these when you're older," he said, not noticing his Freudian slip, "They're very useful for distracting you from other things you should be doing."  
  
"We?" Sam asked quietly.   
  
Jack looked up at her, and got up from his chair.   
  
"Sam, I…I've never had a chance to tell you how I really feel about you," he began.   
  
"Me neither," she smiled back, a little nervously.   
  
"I know I'm a pain in the butt sometimes, and I can be a bit…"  
  
"You're really selling yourself here," Sam said dryly.   
  
"I feel things for you…things that I wasn't allowed to. When you were under my command."  
  
Sam nodded, clearing him to continue.   
  
"My feelings haven't changed. I…I love you, Sam." He said, eyes meeting hers.   
  
Sam smiled as she saw a blush rise to his cheeks.   
  
"My, Colonel, I've never seen you blush so badly," she giggled.   
  
"I do not blush!" Jack protested, "So what do you say? Can you make do with a crusty old man?"  
  
Sam smiled, and went over to him. She laid her head on his chest, and put her arm around him.   
  
"I think I could manage," she said quietly.   
  
Jack's smile lit up his face as he pulled her closer, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.   
  
"What about you?" She asked, "Are you willing to take on me…and a baby?"  
  
"I think I could manage," he repeated, tickling Ella as she attempted to escape his arms again.   
  
The End…?  
  
Author's Note: What do you think? Another chapter, or has this gone far enough? Please send your comments to jm-webmistressfsmail.net Thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback on this series, it is very much appreciated and enjoyed! 


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